I share with you my story of my beloved son Christopher, in hopes that it may bring awareness to the mental illness that tore him and his family apart. It is with hope that I share our story that others may benefit. Please vote to help the mentally ill in your local and state areas. They are homeless and abandoned. They are alone.
Born on November 2, 1972, Christopher Rule Schurr came into the world blue and cold with the cord around his neck. He needed resuscitation. We had moments of not knowing whether things would be alright. Within 10 minutes of working on this tiny baby, they brought him to me all bright red and crying. He was beautiful.
My son was of the sweetest nature and always kind of loving as a small baby and child. He was so kind hearted and generous. He remained that way throughout his life.
He had a hard time in school and through testing we established he had ADHD. He was the class clown and skipped school a lot to skate board. I am afraid I helped him more than I disciplined. We built a half-pipe in the backyard.
As a young man in his twenties, he developed mental illness with Bi-Polar Disease and Severe Depression. This wonderfully bright young man found himself torn from loving his family and trying to be responsible to desperation in fighting mania and depression and medicating his illness.
We went through 15 long years of trying to help this beautiful soul. We have lost him on so many levels that I have grieved over his loss for years. My inability to help him has been so hard. My love for him so complete and my loss so great.
Chris has been lost to us for some time to the streets and being homeless. I managed to bring him home recently and get him into a "clean and sober" living environment with his psychiatrist agreeing to work with him. For the first time in a long time he seemed happy and stable. We talked each morning and planned our days so that we could stay in touch and see each other. He was looking forward to many things and plans. I felt we might be able to think and own that we may have made it and that he would be able to have a safe and happy life.
Christopher Rule Schurr died last night a little before 7:00 from natural causes. He went to church and came home with a headache. He laid down and left this life somewhere between 1:30 and 6:30 that evening.
I thank all that is for this beautiful person being in my life. He was my best friend and my buddy. He helped me buy the groceries, the Christmas tree, and he was always talking me out of something new....a skate board...a video game....he helped me buy things and figured out how to get them home....helped me fix the faucet when he was 10....he was always there and as a single mother....we had it hard. He took a bad fall on his bike...going over the handle bars and opening up his chin to 25 stitches. I was getting a haircut and came home to him patiently waiting on the drive way to go to the Urgent Care. He was always so patient with me in all things. Helping me to cook and to do yard work. He was my very best friend. I have celebrated this child each and every day of his life and so I now take that and hold it tight. He will always be with me and always be in my heart. I know how to love because of my love for this beautiful boy.
When he was little, I knew we had a problem. I would take him into his room to straighten up his room and he would be right where I left him 15 minutes later. I would inquire about progress and he seemed willing, but when I returned he still sat on the bed in the same place without having done anything.
God blessed me with the ability to somehow know that he was overwhelmed and paralyzed. So I began to do it with him....I would advise "we start in this corner and we do this and then we move here and we do this and one by one we can see progress". We spent a life time working together to organize and help him feel in control. He wanted a paper route, but could note manage it. So I got up each morning at 4:00 am and we delivered the papers and built database to track his deliveries, who had paid and who had not. We did it together. His computer skills went on to help him in life a great deal and those skills we worked on together learning to run the paper route also help him. If you talked to Christopher he was bright eyed and well-spoken and often times did kind acts unsolicited. He always put others first and himself last. It was always part of his generous heart.
I am so grateful that I never found fault with my beloved son and that I always encouraged him. We were a great team and we never let each other down. I am so much better as a person for the beautiful human being that was my beloved son.
In memory of Christopher Rule Schurr, born on November 2, 1972 and left this earth on March 16th, 2008.
I have written of my beloved son several times here on AR. My heart is so full with my love for him that it becomes necessary to express it. These posts were inspired by my beautiful son.
Rebirth with Every Breath I Take
Live every moment as if it were your last. Tell each person you love, how much you love them and show it to them in every action and everything you do. Never lose the opportunity to express your love. Cherish each moment!
No comments:
Post a Comment