Christopher's 34th Birthday

On Christopher's 34th Birthday, he wrote the following:

1972, born on this day (November 2), 34 years ago. In that time I have:

loved
lost
helped
let down
grown
lost ground
created
destroyed
hurt people
been hurt, as well
stood up for people I love
lost contact with people I love
made a break from harmful relationships
learned many things the hard way
injured myself in every way I know
learned how to love myself
chose to avoid evil and deceit
embraced the light and trying to love

I want to be:
liked
loved
trusted
respective
creative
helpful
loyal
loving
spiritual
good natured
passive
calm
logical
educated
dependable
enjoyable
happy
open to new things
able to share new things
find myself
define my life values
read about history
learn everyday

This was written in Christopher's "Gita Diary". Oh, if I could only have him back...but what hope that he aspired to such good things. I loved him so and he made beautiful progress in this life time. I don't know why we lost him. I shall love him all the days of my life and all I do is in his memory. Each smile and deed I perform will come from my love for him. He gave me the gift of unbounded love and the ability to have compassion and selfless love for him. He struggled so and I shall forever miss his company. He was so fun and I depended upon him. In my lifetime he is the only person who never let me down. He was so beautiful. I forgive those who abandoned him in his last days, including myself.

If you have sorrow in your life over the loss of a beautiful soul in your family to mental illness, share your stories here for others to learn and find solace.

Let us find a way to help and to comfort the mentally ill. They are alone.

With grace and love,

Jeanean Gendron