Reach Out To Help The Abused!

Abuse

My family growing up was an alcoholic family with my father being a philanderer and my mother rather nuts about it. She drank herself to death with a suicide at my age of 11. She carved out her pain in very embarrassing ways throughout our life. Restaurants and horrible scenes and so many embarrassing moments for me and my family and in every memory I have. She committed suicide when I was eleven years old. My father was a philanderer of women and it drove my mother nuts. She was most probably bi-polar, alcoholic and it was impossible for her to deal with the problems that my father presented to her in life. My father was an alcoholic, as well.

She committed suicide when I was eleven. I was alone in the house with her when this occurred. I was use to cooking dinner and putting her to bed when I was eleven. I saw her going out with other men from my library school window when I was eleven. I knew she saw other men. I put her to bed most nights and saw with horror her suspicions and accusations of my father. There were many weekends that my sister and I and my father physically took her down and remove a knife from her. Her intent was to kill my father. I know she was distraught and helpless and may have been helpless in her struggle, in my present awareness of past events, I can only remember she hurt us all as we struggled to maintain a normal existence in the relative world.

I knew things were terrible wrong. My mother committed suicide on May 18, 1958.

It took many years of working towards recovery to finally see my mother as a victim. She came to see me in my dreams (which were many over a period of time) to finally ask me if I had no compassion for her at all. I had so much anger for my mother. She hurt our family with her behavior and it took many years for me to be able to say....that I forgave her and to find compassion for her. I love my Mother and I forgive her for all things.

Life moves in patterns. I married an abusive man. He continued the abusive manner of life. He sexually abused my children. I have lost both my children. One to bi-polar disease and a completed suicide and one through rejection. My son's loss having devastated me in all ways, now gives way to loss of my daughter. She being the strong one, the one who could function.....nevertheless damaged. I love her deeply and even though one called louder than the other, the love was no less strong for both.

Let someone know someone cares.....out of nowhere a caring hand appears. It saves lives. God bless those that help the abused! It inspires us all.