It is approaching and I've had it on my mind. I am doing well. I've regained the self and healing prevails. I am once again celebrating life. I share my story in an effort to help those that have lost a child. It is not a natural thing to have happen and so I feel it is important to share what I have learned. I pray you never need this advice and care.
You must first concentrate on breathing. At first it seems that there is no air. Second, there does not seem to be a place where there is comfort....you want to hide and you cannot. You cry out for help and understanding and it comes...slowly....but it comes. Those first two weeks are a blur and I truly do not know how I made it except for the advice of Elaine Hanson "to breath Jeanean, just breath" and from a dear friend who told me "Jeanean while it is your darkest hour, it is also your greatest opportunity. Lean into your faith and it will see you through." And so it has. Day by day I've grown stronger. I've wanted from the beginning to be able to celebrate my son and the hero that he was. He was so loving and giving in nature. He truly has taught me so much about love and devotion. If I could but manage one small measure of his strength, courage and love, I would be pleased with such progress. My last word is to hold on to those times when things are good and let that fill your heart for those are the true times and the truth of our lives. Never waste a moment in loving your family. Take that moment to stop and spend it with them. You would give all for that moment afterward. So celebrate and fill your heart with love and do those things you've been intending to do....it is very important for you to do so.
My Beautiful Boy.
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